Filed under: Uncategorized
can’t even spell that right.
i keep telling myself there is positive intent in everything. words, actions, events beyond my control. then bigger things happened and most people break down and join the ignorant life in exchange for bliss.
my being fired back in 07 was a blessing because i could bum around all summer and dream about being productive. but wait a minute, the same thing happened in 05. i’d never been fired before in my life until then and i treated the summer the exact same way. it’s so easy to take that route but how will i ever become self-sustaining, let alone be able to take care of those around me, if i am only taking care of my wants?
today, after i collect my life which i conveniently let fall into the hands of god knows who, i will practice. Tabs even quoted it a few weeks ago, “do lock yourself in a room doing 5 beats a day for 3 summers.” and we’ve been saying things similarly for years. everyone does something, the difference between us and then is that they are physically DOING it.
today i was sent an ideal job opportunity that i won’t even try and take for the reason that my skills have been lacking for the past 3 years, because i’ve barely practiced them. there is a lot i need to do and random pieces of paper scattered around, scrawled with lists don’t coincide with planning these things out very well.
today i will grow up a little bit more. get my grown man on.
Filed under: Uncategorized
i dunno how many times i have to say it before i really believe in it. or myself for that matter.
i’d say shoot me, but i’m too curious to see how it all ends that i know i ain’t goin out like that.
so now what? continue to get “bitched” out by 18 year old aquanerds. fuck this. fuck fuck fuckthis.
